addingtonfurniture

lanthorn:

via

I just want to step in here. I study languages for a living; I’m a linguist. It’s my job to study people’s grammar.

You aren’t stupid. Your grammar isn’t terrible. One of the wonderful things about being a human is that, when you’re born, you begin to acquire the grammar of a language without studying it at all, and you do so perfectly, barring significant brain development issues that you quite obviously do not have.

That means that you speak English with absolutely perfect grammar. You aren’t stupid because you forgot a word - I’m a third year doctoral student in a respected linguistics program. If minor typographical errors were indicative of stupidity, I would be someone who couldn’t tell his ass from a hole in the ground.

Don’t let English teachers and fake-experts on reddit convince you that you have bad grammar just because they disagree with the way you use commas or because you can’t spell this or that. That is all surfacey bullshit. When you speak you carry the communicative legacy of thousands of years, and every time you open your mouth around an infant you are doing your part to spread that to the next generation.

Spelling issues, punctuation mistakes, typographical errors…that isn’t bad grammar. That’s bad spelling, and some of the smartest people I know can’t spell or punctuate a paper for shit. Your grammar is perfect; there’s a difference between actual, real grammar and knowing what pisses off English teachers and fake-experts on reddit.

Sorry if that seemed random or insane or if it doesn’t help you. I suffer with anxiety and depression and when I learned that spelling and punctuation were just a bullshit cultural negotiation sitting on top of the most beautiful biological system yet evolved it really helped me. We humans walk around forcefully blowing air out of holes in our face, and by manipulating the flow of air just so, we can link brains. And by doing so, we realize that we aren’t alone.

ps-brighteyes:

mimisaurus:

darkjez:

ireallyhatecornnuts:

doingtheneedful:

mightymur:

The final, brilliant word on passive voice.
“She was killed [by zombies.]” <—- passive
“Zombies killed [by zombies] her.” <—- active

Welp.

Oh my god, best passive voice identification tool ever.

This is on par with the moment that I learned “the alligator always eats the bigger number” when determining whether to use greater than or less than sign. 
Life changing shit, seriously.

Journalism class mini-lesson alert.

GENIUS

And thus it came to be known as the Zombie Rule of Grammar, and there was great rejoicing throughout the internet.

ps-brighteyes:

mimisaurus:

darkjez:

ireallyhatecornnuts:

doingtheneedful:

mightymur:

The final, brilliant word on passive voice.

“She was killed [by zombies.]” <—- passive

“Zombies killed [by zombies] her.” <—- active

Welp.

Oh my god, best passive voice identification tool ever.

This is on par with the moment that I learned “the alligator always eats the bigger number” when determining whether to use greater than or less than sign. 

Life changing shit, seriously.

Journalism class mini-lesson alert.

GENIUS

And thus it came to be known as the Zombie Rule of Grammar, and there was great rejoicing throughout the internet.